Fun Times In Italy
by snoopykid
Summary: REPOSTED. This is the fourth segment in my 'Fun Times' Twilight series story. The Cullens are invited to stay with the Volturi to get reacquainted and in the process craziness ensues! This story has more drama, craziness, and hilarity that cannot be handled by any sane person. R
1. Anger Management

Well there was a request for me to repost this story, so I guess I am reposting it with a minor…disclaimer per say: I am not really into Twilight anymore, so as far as updates are concerned I will not really be updating this unless I am extremely bored or have major writers block.

Anyway now what this story is about: this is the fourth segment in the "Fun Times" Twilight series. In order to maybe understand as to what is going on you can read the other three that are completed:

Fun Times in La Push is the first story

Fun Times at Rocky Horror is the second story

Fun Times in Phoenix is the third story.

**IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ANY OF THE THREE HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR; BUT FOR LAUGHTER BEYOND NORMAL CAPACITY READ THEM**:

Nessie found a box in Jake's attic that had videos of him and Bella doing some crazy stuff behind Edward's back in La Push; from there it went into a war between Bella and Jake as to who had the most embarrassing videos of one another ending with a truce.

Then Jake's last video would have been of Bella at Rocky Horror with the pack but they decided on taking the Cullens to experience Rocky Horror. The drama continued with Nessie and some of the Cullens being mentally scarred from the show and turns out that vamps could get drunk. Because of that fact some painful memories were brought up and Nessie starts to understand how Edward's leaving really affected her mother when Jake, Bella, and Edward get into a major fight. They make up and the family vows to never watch home movies for a while.

As Christmas starts to roll around a box gets delivered and Bella ends up reliving her days in Phoenix when craziness hits the fan. The Cullens learn of why Bella hates her birthday and why she really left Phoenix. There was really a lot to learn about their family member. Jake gets beaten to a pulp and there was a promise made that had been fulfilled. YAY FOR CONSPIRACIES!

And there you have it. You have now been officially caught up. Once again if you have not read the other three please do. They are rather funny and will brighten your day. Now without further ado here is the fourth segment:

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Edward POV-**

"Like no way! OMG HE DIDN'T…HE DID? LIKE OH MY GOD!" Yes, my wife was talking on the phone like a valley girl to Jane Volturi.

"Dude are you sure your wife is from Phoenix Arizona and not Beverly Hills California?" Emmett asked staring wide eyed at his little sister.

"Yes Em I am sure."

"How the hell can she be friends with the…Volturi?" Rose spat out angrily.

"I do not know. She tries to see the good in everyone." I reasoned but secretly agreeing with Rose about how could this possibly be happening.

We all sat in the living room while Bella was lounging on the couch. It seemed like after watching her videos from Phoenix she is starting to act like what she used too…which is starting to become rather scary. I mean she is sprawled out on the couch twirling her hair with one finger! Who the hell is she? My wife…my love…my Bella never did that!

Jasper was starting to twitch while thinking, _**girly…way too much girly stuff going on over there…action figures…bugs…guy stuff…must think and feel guy stuff…EDWARD MAKE HER STOP!**_

I sighed and got up thanking god that Nessie was with Jake for the day and went to my wife, "Bella love?"

She groaned and said to Jane, "Hey Hun can you like hold for a sec?" Turning to me she growled, "What?"

"Why don't we uhm…take a break from the phone and let someone else have it?" I suggested

She groaned and said, "Fine." Turning back to the phone she said, "Hey Jane I got to go. Someone thinks that I am spending too much time on the phone…yea I know right? Like WTH? Ok see you on FB…yea…oh wait what? Ok hold on," She sat up and said, "Carlisle?"

My father for all intense and purposes came downstairs in a flash, "Yes?"

"Here," Bella handed him the phone and he took it upstairs.

"Why the hell are you friends with the Volturi…I mean after all they did to you how can you be friends?" Rose growled at her.

Getting up in a proper sitting position Bella said, "They are not that bad. Besides I gave them a little help in the anger management department. That is all that was wrong was they needed a little anger management."

"Love?"

"You do not want to know…even though the video I have is funny as hell." Bella laughed.

We all stared at her as Alice went stiff. Her eyes glazed over and she moaned. Before I could read her thoughts she blocked me.

Just then Carlisle came downstairs along with Esme, "Ok I know that you guys are not going to like this but we are taking a small vacation."

Emmett started to bounce up and down like a little kid at Christmas, "REALLY? WHERE? I REALLY HOPE IT IS DISNEY WORLD!"

Alice groaned and before I can read her mind again she blocked me, "Do we have to?"

"Yes I was persuaded." Carlisle said rolling his eyes. I tried to red his mind but he was also blocking me...why must everyone block the mind reader?

"But Carlisle-" Alice groaned

"No buts. Now pack your bags because we are going to Italy!" He said

"NO!" We all shouted in agony

"HELL YEA!" Came the loan cheer from my wife, "Come on Alice let's get packing!" And she dragged Alice who for once was complaining.

What the hell happened to my wife?

**One hour later-**

Ok so tell me how my wife can pack 'Alice Approved' clothes in less time than what Alice could do? Explain that to me please.

"She packed good looking clothes...in less time than me...how? How can that be?" Alice was sitting on the couch in a fetal position, "I don't even wanna go to Italy for once but yet she dragged me upstairs and packed my clothes that I would actually wear if I wanted to go."

"Dude how the hell can your wife out pack my wife?" Jasper asked comforting Alice as she dry sobbed into him.

"I don't know. I don't even wanna go!" I shouted, "After all the crap that they put us through for god knows how long I do not want to see them!"

"So why don't we tell Carlisle?" Rose asked also leaning into Emmett who was busy running his hands through her hair.

"Because Aro begged him. I heard it in his thoughts after he told us. They also would like to change their diet or some crap like that." I said in a huff.

"Oh yea that'll happen when pigs fly." Emmett growled remembering the incident in the clearing.

"Come on guys they changed." Bella said coming in, "By the way I packed Nessie's stuff and Jake is coming to."

"HOW CAN YOU BE STUPID? YOU ARE GOING TO BRING THE MUTT AND YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE VOLTURI?" Rose yelled astounded.

"Yea and I said they are fine. Look Jerry Springer helped them. Besides Jane said that Aro said that it was ok because Jake is not a 'Child of the Moon'." Bella said pulling up the video on her laptop.

We all gathered around and I asked, "You recommended them to go on Jerry Springer who is human and they are vampires?"

"Well for one I couldn't let them go to Dr. Phil because he sucked helping me. And two Jerry Springer is not a human he is obviously a vampire." Bella shrugged as if we all should have known this.

"WHAT?" We all shouted as Carlisle and Esme came downstairs to see what was going on.

"How is Jerry Springer a vampire?" Esme asked wondering if my wife somehow lost her marbles.

"How else could he get into those fights and not get hurt?" Bella asked and now we were left to wonder.

"Wait how was it that they were able to keep this a secret?" Carlisle asked.

"Easy it was only broadcasted in front of vampires at the show and no one ever played it nationally. She only managed to get this because she was the one that secretly taped it and sent one to me to watch whenever I need entertainment." Bella explained.

Seeing that we weren't going to ask her anymore questions Bella hooked her laptop up to our TV and we watched the video that was saved on Bella's computer.

_The crowed was cheering Jerry Springer's name as he came on stage. Behind him was Jane, Alec, Felix, Demetri, Aro, Marcus, and Caius sitting in the chairs._

_"Now I know a dysfunctional family when I see one, but this has got to be the most dysfunctional family of all. Aro was telling us back stage that that he was blackmailed by his kids. Is that true? Jane?" Jerry started out as the crowd's cheers dyed down._

_"Yes I did blackmail my father into doing this. We used to be happy and all but now it's depressing." Jane said as the crowd awed in sympathy. _

_"So now according to Marcus: you and Caius were being blackmailed by your brother Aro...correct?" Jerry asked and the crowded booed at Aro._

_Marcus cleared his throat, "Yes that is correct. He said that if he is going down then we are all going down together." The crowd booed again._

_"Caius do you have anything to comment on? You're quiet. Is everything ok?" Jerry asked faking concern._

_Caius looked around and said, "I can really give a crap. No family is perfect and there far better things than to worry about being a fricking family." The crowd started booing at him._

Emmett was rolling on the floor, "Wow this is great!"

I heard the thoughts around my family...this was rather entertaining.

"See told you so." Bella said.

_"You really do not mean that." Jerry spoke_

_"Oh yes I do. These 'kids' are ungrateful! They run around the world and go shopping playing video games and whatever the hell else kids do without a single thank you! I mean I seem to be the only one who actually works. Aro is always being a spaz everything, Marcus is all doom and gloom, and I for one can't take it!" Caius yelled._

_Aro, Jane, Demetri, Alec, Felix, and Marcus looked insulted, "WHAT?"_

_"Hello you idiot! My wife died! Of course I am all doom and gloom. Cut me some slack!" Marcus yelled, "Not everyone can get over death as easily as you!"_

_"So sue me for trying to be upbeat once in a while!" Aro yelled also._

_The crowd in the background was cheering, "FIGHT! FIGHT!"_

_There was growling going around as Jane yelled, "We hardly go shopping! The one time I did want to go you said no! That I had 'work' to do. Heidi and I hardly hang out anymore!" _

_"Yea and besides when was the last time we played video games? You send us on missions and have us gallivant all over humanity!" Felix yelled_

_"Yea and besides I do not even care for video games!" Demetri yelled also._

_"I would have rather been burnt at the stake than live this pitiful existence!" Alec yelled._

_There was a major gasp as Jane rounded on Alec, "You do not mean that brother...please say you do not mean that!" _

_"Better off being dead like we were supposed to be than being called a witch twin. God I hate that name!" Alec yelled._

_Jane growled, "But we lived we got our revenge!"_

_"I NEVER WANTED REVENGE! BESIDES I HATE THE WAY YOU BECAME!" Alec yelled, "YOU ARE ALWAYS SO ANGRY AND BITTER ALL THE TIME! WHERE IS THE SISTER I USED KNOW THE HAPPY PLAYFUL KID THAT USED BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME JUST TO PLAY WITH ME?"_

"Dude this is awesome." Jasper said.

"I feel so sorry for them." Esme said.

Rose was even astonished that she could not speak.

_"She is still here Alec. I am sorry I didn't know...I was so caught up that I..." Jane started to sob and Alec went over to her, "It's ok sis...It'll be ok."_

_The crowd awed and cheered as Demetri and Felix was grabbed into the group hug. Jerry started to speak again, "It is never a good idea for anyone to bottle up emotions. How about you guys. Can you forgive your brothers?" _

_"If Aro stops being a pansy." Caius grumbled._

_"I am not a pansy!" Aro yelled, "Marcus and Caius have to stop acting like there is a stick up their butt!"_

_"Hey we resent that!" Marcus and Caius yelled and growled_

_The crowd started to cheer for a fight. Soon chairs were thrown and words were yelled and they attacked each other._

_Jerry was laughing not even bothering to break up the fight, "Well that is it for this segment. If you have issues in your family please call this 1-800 number and tell me your problems. Until next time folks!" _

_"You are an idiot!" Marcus yelled at Aro while punching him and dodging Caius  
"Takes one to know one!" Aro yelled punching Marcus and kicking Caius. _

_"It doesn't matter who is the idiot! I hate all of you!" Caius yelled punching Aro and kicking Marcus._

The video turned off and Bella unhooked her laptop, "See told you they got help."

"It does not look like they got much help. Phil would have been better." Alice commented.

"Phil does not even have a real PH.D...that guy is a quack. Now when are we leaving?" Bella asked

"Two days from now." Carlisle said

Two days... "How long are we staying?" I asked

"A week give or take." He responded

I groaned. We are leaving in two days to spend a week or so with a dysfunctional family...someone call the men in white because I have a feeling I will need them.


	2. On the Plane

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Bella POV-**

Ok so I get it...I am being a little weird and not at all the 'sweet innocent' Bella everyone knew and loved. But what the hell? I mean I looked so damn free in the videos; what is wrong with wanting to be free every once and awhile. I mean come on people get with the program!

We are now boarding the plane...yup two days go by fast don't they? They had tried but failed epically to argue their way out of this trip. Nessie seemed cool with it and Jake had no problems. Was he thrilled? No. But was he understanding? Yea for the most part.

Edward was pissed and claiming that soon I will be sending him to the men and white. He was not exactly thrilled when I started to sing in my head 'They're Coming to Take me Away Haha'. Alice and Rose were astounded at how I could out pack Alice and that I was actually excited. Emmett and Jasper were just as mad as Edward but then they were kind of amused when I explained the game room they had. Carlisle and Esme kept giving me strange looks every now and then about how I can be thrilled and how I am making everyone crazy.

So here we are...on the plane. Edward is on the window side and I am on the aisle, Nessie is in front of us with Jake, Rose and Em were next to us to one side and Jaz and Alice are behind us with Esme and Carlisle to the other side of them. I decided to pull out my song book and started to get relaxed and I began writing.

"Whatcha writing love?" Edward asked looking over at me while playing with my hair.

I quickly closed the book and hid it, "Nothing."

"That is a whole lot of something for a whole lot of nothing. Come on tell me...Please?" He tried to dazzle me but two can play it this game.

Smirking I leaned in close and used my ultimate weapon. I started to purr softly, "You really wanna know?"

"Tell me." He gasped. The whole family was watching now and I didn't need to be Jasper to see that I had him where I wanted him (insert maniacal laugh here).

Seeing my evil glint Edward gasped; a little late there pal. Clearing my throat I got my deep 70's husky British accent, "I was writing about how randy I make you feel baby. Oh yea just how randy you are love, how I turn you on and how you make me feel. Yea baby," I added in the cat sound and if steam could come out of his ears it would and his face would be a cherry tomato. Emmett, Jasper, and Jake let out roars of laughter. Carlisle and Esme tried but failed to hide their smirks. Rose and Alice took a few snap shots of Edward's face. Nessie look slightly mortified but with a hint of amusement. The passengers all were shooting us dirty looks.

"Excuse me?" I looked to see the stewardess standing over us. Edward was still in slight shock so I ignored him and answered back.

"Yes?" I said politely.

"One of the people complained about the noise here and I was wondering if you all could keep it down." I rolled my eyes. Clearly some people lack a sense of humor.

Everyone was waiting to see my response. Would I be the sarcastic bitch and blow her off or be diplomatic and thoughtful or be apologetic then get revenge...decisions, decisions...

While in my musings I saw her eyes wonder toward Edward...they reminded me of all the girls in Forks High that wanted to eat, sleep, and drink him. I even thought I saw her mouthing to herself trying and once again failing to be discrete, "He is definitely bringing sexy back."

Oh no she didn't. Clearing my throat I re-caught her attention. I saw her blush and I knew I was not imagining things. I led her into the false sense of security by trying to be innocent, "I am so sorry, Miss..." I read her name tag, "Carson. I did not realize that we were causing a disturbance for the other passengers. Please give them my regards and we will try to be more courteous. Isn't that right sweet heart?" I grabbed Edward's hand and he nodded mutely...still oblivious as to what he was agreeing with. I made sure my wedding ring caught her attention.

The Cullen's and the stewardess's jaws dropped at my apology. For added affect I smiled what I deemed as the 'dazzling smile'. She nodded dumbly at me and muttered a thank you and walked or more like staggered away as if she was drunk. I guess I have a little renaming to do...

"Bella what the hell was that?" Rose asked.

"Why whatever do you mean?" I asked back.

She shook her head, "First you are all like a California girl, then you are like Alice, then like Emmett with trying to act sexy except you succeed and he kind of fails," Emmett gasped at this but she ignored him, "Now you just made this real formal apology like you have done it all your life. What gives?"

I thought and decided on the most simplest answer I could make up, "I am a basket full of surprises."

No one said anything and I went back to mindless writing. Italy is going to be so much fun.


	3. Annoying Alice

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Alice POV-**

"Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice!" Bella was bouncing, yes I do mean bouncing like an over hyper child who is high on sugar chanting my name. She had long given up on writing since Edward kept bugging her. Just a half hour Alice...just a half hour until we start to land...

"Hey Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Ali, Ali, Alice, Alice." Curse Stewie and that episode with Lois, where he kept bugging her just to say hi.

I tried to ignore her. I really did until I just finally snapped, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" I just had enough. I wanted my best friend/sister back! Is that so much to ask? Is it? I miss it when she was herself. Someone who acted middle aged and not five years old.

Passengers shot us death glares as Bella started to sniffle, "I-I just had a question...EDWARD ALICE IS BEING MEAN TO ME!" She clung to Edward and started to sob...loudly I may add. And what does he do? He starts to comfort her.

"It's ok love. I think Alice is just a little cranky..." He soothed her then glared at me, "Why did you have to be mean? She just had a question."

What the hell? Then Jasper looked hurt and sad, "Yea Alice why did you have to hurt her feelings?"

What the muffins? "You are so mean sometimes." Rose stated looking mad at me...wait what? Since when did she care?

"Yo lady! What the hell is problem making another person cry?" Some random dude from down the aisle yelled at me.

"Where did you come from? How are you involved?" I yelled back facing the overly large man.

"So you like excluding people huh? You are a bitch!" Then he shut up. Again WTF?

"Aunt Alice can you apologize to mommy please? She just wants us to have fun." Nessie gave me the puppy dog pout that I taught her...It's true what they say...the student surpassed the master.

"Bella Alice didn't mean it." Carlisle said trying to help Edward calm Bella down as I heard grumbles all around me of: bitch and what a jerk.

"She hates me! I just wanted to ask a question." She whined clinging to Edward.

Jake and Emmett both glared and Emmett said, "You know for a psychic you suck!"

"Yea if you would have used your power you could have seen she wanted to ask you a question." Jake growled.

I groaned, "Ok one: you are a dog and therefore my visions are non-existence! I am blind ok? B-L-I-N-D! BLIND! And number two you would have snapped too if your name was being chanted over and over again!"

Esme looked at me and said, "Ali honey just apologize please before we get in trouble."

"Fine." I said. Clearing my throat, "Bells. I am sorry."

She glanced up and sniffled, "You are?"

"Yes I am. Now what was your question?" I asked as gently as I could.

She gleamed and started to bounce again. I looked to Jasper and he shrugged, "I didn't do anything."

"Can we do Grand Theft Auto again? You can choose the car! Please?" Bella was pleading. She wanted to do grand theft auto? Wait when did...oh I get it.

"You mean like I did when we had-" I started to ask

"Yea like we did last time except Edward is here and safe. Pretty please with sugar and ice cream with the cherry on top?" Bella begged again.

All eyes were on me and I sighed, "Sorry we can't do that." Bella looked like she would cry again so I elaborated, "Because that was an emergency situation. We can't steal peoples' cars this time."

She stopped bouncing and crossed her arms and scowled, "Damn."

"Why did you want to commit grand theft auto?" Emmett asked

"Because it looks like fun." Bella said pointing at the TV. It was the Blues Brothers and it showed Jake and Elwood in the old cop car trashing the mall while being chased by the cops.

"I don't think the Volturi would like that..." Esme said.

"Well I guess we are going to find out." Bella smiled.

"How?" Nessie asked

Bella counted down from five on her fingers and pointed to the intercom as it came on, "All passengers please buckle up for our descent in Voltaire, Italy and we would like to thank you for flying with Continental Airline. We hope you enjoy your stay."

Oh she is good.


	4. Epic Race

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Rose POV-**

So yea...Bella is being a bit of a pain. We are getting off this god forsaken plane with people glaring at us, but mostly at Alice for making Bella cry; which I did agree that was mean of her to snap at Bella.

"So how are we getting the cars?" Bella asked with an evil gleam in her eye.

Carlisle stared at her and said steadily, "I rented a few cars...?"

Bella's evil glint fell and she sighed, "Damn."

Jake and Nessie were beside me and Emmett and Nessie asked, "How come mommy wants to steal cars?"

"Because your mommy wants to send Edward to the Men in White." Emmett's wise crack remark and I slapped in the head when I saw Nessie getting upset, "OUCH! It's true!"

"Nessie, your mommy is just on a...uhm..." I searched for the right word to describe Bella. What do you tell a five year old who looks twelve that's mom is acting like a crazy person?

"She's on a crazy fix right now," Jake said. I glared as he continued, "You see she has suppressed all that craziness and after those tapes it just burst out."

"So the tapes became her happy substance?" Nessie asked slightly confused but she was buying into it.

The proper term is crack but I didn't say that so instead I said, "Yea kind of. Just go with it and she'll come back."

Nessie looked doubtful as Bella started laughing and Edward looked a little amused as they started walking toward us followed by Alice and Jasper. What the hell is going through her head? Edward shot me a quick look that said he did not even know so I shrugged.

Carlisle and Esme left us alone while they looked for the rent-a -car place. Just then we heard Bella's phone go off. She sighed and looked at the caller-ID and smirked, "City Morgue, you kill'em we chill'em this is Bella how can I help you?" she quickly pressed a button and the caller was on speaker.

"Yo Bells how is life? You here yet?" Jane's voice blared through the phone.

"Life is life depending on what you do with it and yea we just got in. Carlisle just went to get the keys for the cars." Bella said cheerfully. I suppressed the urge to growl as Bella continued, "Oh btw you are on speaker phone with the Cullens and Jakey!"

"OMG I am! This is amaztastic! HIIII!" Her piercing voice made everyone look at us weirdly.

"Hi." We all groaned back.

"What is the 411 on the enthusiasm?" Jane asked not so cheery anymore...almost disappointed.

Bella glared at us and said, "They are just cranky from the plane. You know stupid little kids that parents' let them go wild."

"Oh I see ok cool! Well how much longer you gonna be B?" Jane asked.

"Uhm...I'd say a few minutes." She responded

"Ok cool. Hey I gotta go. TTYL." Jane said

"TTFN!" Bella replied then she hung up and still glared at us, "Ok can you lay off please? They are trying to make nice, nice with us."

We all growled at her except for Edward and Nessie who gave her a look. She glared back like a mother scolding her kid. We let up and sighed, "Fine." But I still am not trusting them. Edward nodded slightly at me. I guess he agreed.

Bella gave us a disapproved look as Carlisle and Esme came back. Carlisle had the set of keys in his hand and he started to call them out, "Ok here is the key to the Porsche," Alice snatched from his hand.

"MINE!" She yelled and pulled Jasper to the side waiting for us.

Carlisle sighed but continued, "Jeep." Emmett raised his hand and pulled me to go with him.

"Audi." Jake took it and looked to Edward who nodded reluctantly. He smiled and gently took Nessie's hand and stood over by us.

"Volvo." Edward grabbed it and tried to pull Bella but she didn't budge. He looked at questioningly.

"Mustang." Bella smiled and took the key from Carlisle.

"Wait you're not driving with me?" Edward pouted, "You always drive with me..." He actually looked hurt. In fact we were all questioning her sanity.

Bella shrugged, "I guess I was in the mood for my Mustang."

"Wait your Mustang?" I asked.

"Yea how else did Aro know what cars you wanted?" Bella asked

"Wait Aro set this up?" Edward asked looking from her to Carlisle.

"Yes he said that he had everything taken care of." Carlisle confirmed.

"He is trying to be helpful," Esme supplied.

"But rewind...your Mustang?" I questioned again, "The one we saw on the tape?"

Bella nodded, "Yea. When I was coming to Forks I wanted to have it shipped over but I decided to keep it in Phoenix because the house is still in my mother's name. They never sold it. It was so that if I ever wanted to move back there one day I would have some where to go to. Besides nearly everything is in my name still. The mortgage, the car, the life insurance, both mine and Renee's bank crap. Anyway after all the drama watching the videos I missed my car so I had the car shipped to Charlie and I took everything out and then I sent it here. Felix and Demetri fixed it up. They were going to send it back but this trip came up and I said keep it here."

I was hurt now, "But why not let me fix it up and re-tune it for you?"

Bella sighed, "Don't be hurt Rose. Sorry for not going to you but they wanted to see it and they needed a project. You were busy with Carlisle's car at the time and you own car."

I nodded and sighed. We started to make our way out. It was cloudy so that was a good sign and we saw the cars waiting for us. Bella squealed with joy when she saw the Black 2004 GT Mustang. It certainly did look different than in the videos.

We all went up to it and I even whistled, "Damn it does look hot."

"I know. This was my baby." Bella sighed and I swear I heard Nessie 'humph' in response while glaring at the car.

"Can I?" I asked looking at her. Bella nodded, "It's the least I can do."

She gave me the key and it roared to life. I gotta admit it to Felix and Demetri know their stuff. I opened the hood and made sure that everything looked ok I turned to Bella, "You are good to go."

Bella smiled and jumped in. Rolling down her window she said, "When I was talking to Jane earlier this week she said we can take the scenic route. Wanna do that? Apparently that road is for 'personnel' only."

"Sure." Carlisle said getting into the Mercedes, "I know the way. We keep going down this road and it's like a straight shot right? It just makes a circle."

Bella nodded, "That is what she told me."

"Ok then let's go." Carlisle pulled out followed by Alice and Jasper, then Jake and Nessie. Edward pulled up and we heard him say, "You going to be ok love?"

"Yup." Bella smiled putting on sunglasses. He sighed and drove away.

Emmett pulled up, "You sure you want to be alone sis?"

Bella smirked...oh no I do not like that smirk, "You wanna race Em?"

He smiled and I said, "No!"

"Come on Rosie please. Like she can beat us in that. Yea sure you're on sis." He retorted.

"Fine go and I bet I can beat you." Bella said.

"You're on!" He sped off I looked behind us to see Bella still sitting.

I sighed, "I cannot believe you are doing this." I moaned.

"Why not like she can pass us at this rate." He scoffed.

I sighed. After two minutes of driving I hear the roar of an engine and horns blaring then sure enough I see the black mustang weaving in and out of the traffic. She pulled up to the side of us and beeped her horn. Emmett was letting off a stream of curse words as she cut him off.

"You were saying?" I asked and he cursed.

**Edward POV-**

It was weird without having Bella in the car with me. I really wish she was here...I had my window rolled down and smelled the fresh air of the Voltaire country side. I had just started to relax and enjoy it when I heard a roar of an engine and the blaring of a horn. I looked in the review mirror and saw a black mustang...Bella's mustang.

She pulled up beside me and saluted me then cut me off and sped off. What the hell does she think she is doing? Then I saw a red jeep coming up on my tail...Emmett.

He pulled up beside me Rose shook her head at me as he started to pull forward to cut me off and catch up with Bella.

Oh my god...I started to punch it to take off after them.

**Jake POV-**

I had to admit this area was nice. Not too much traffic out and it was relatively quiet. Someday I will perhaps take Nessie to this place and this could be our own little escape...

"Hey Jake what is that noise?" Nessie asked pulling me out of my thoughts. It was a good thing Edward was not with us.

"I don't hear anything." But as soon as I said that I heard horns blaring and the roar of an engine.

Bella was coming up next to us and she looked determined.

"MOM?" Nessie yelled out the window. Bella waved at us and honked her horn and she then cut us off and sped off.

"What the hell?" I yelled blaring the horn at Bella. She is crazy?

Just then there was a jeep that came up and it was Blondie and Emmett. Emmett looked mad and Rose looked pissed. He whaled his horn at us and took off after Bella.

"Come on Jake punch it! We have to follow them!" Nessie yelled. I nodded and started to speed up then I saw Edward, he looked pissed.

He narrowed in pulled in front of us. I sped up wondering what the hell was happening.

**Jasper POV-**

My Alice was driving and singing to Lady Gaga's Telephone. I love it when she is happy. But that changed when I felt weird vibes. We started to approach a sharp turn when out of know where Bella pulled next to us.

"What the hell?" Alice yelled also noticing. The turn that was coming up and it was narrow...more or less for one car to fit. Behind Bella we noticed the Jeep, the Volvo, and the Audi all coming up fast.

"Dude what the hell is she doing?" I yelled now clinging to the dashboard.

Alice glanced at my side to look at Bella. Bella looked her way and I got determination swept through me.

Bella smirked as the turn was nearing then out of nowhere Bella's car picked up a burst of speed and nitro gas smoked from the back end as she nearly side swiped us and sped off as we rounded the corner.

Alice jerked the car to the side and pulled over to look at the Porsche. We watched as Emmett, Jake, and Edward continued to follow.

"You ok?" I asked Alice stepping out of the also.

"I AM NOT OK! SHE GOT MUD ON MY CAR!" Alice jumped in and sped off leaving me on the side of the road...I guess I am running.

**Esme-**

We were nearing the castle. It was good to go on a family vacation once in a while, "Did Aro say what exactly he wanted us here for?"

"Nope just the fact that he wanted to reconcile our friendship and talk to him about the diet and what not. Why?" He asked.

"Just that the kids are not too happy...and Bella has been a little strange too." I commented. I was a little worried about her.

"I am sure she is fine. Probably just going through a phase. As long as she does nothing reckless and stupid she should be fine." He commented, "Now stop worrying."

I heard a roaring engines coming up fast and noticed it was Bella's car and closely followed by Emmett, Edward, Jake, and then Alice, "Honey?"

"Yes?"

"Can I start worrying now?" I asked

"Why?"

I looked at him and pointed behind us. He gasped as he glanced in the mirror, Bella pulled aside us and tailing her was Emmett and he looked pissed. Further behind was Jake, Edward, and Alice. It was then I noticed Jasper was running alongside Alice. Bella did not even look at us and we gasped as she looked around and jerked the wheel causing her to spin out and Emmett to jam on the brakes who started sliding into us. Carlisle also turned the wheel and turned so that Emmett didn't crash into us and he missed us.

It was then we noticed that Bella was spinning right into the Castel.

**Bella POV-**

I was out of control, or that is what it looked like. Chase used to give me lessons on racing. Yea we got into some underground racing in Phoenix...it was a blast! He had my Mustang modified so it could do what it did best...go ultrafast.

So yea I did that on purpose so Emmett would back off. He had started to tailgate me and blocked me in to Carlisle and Esme. I had spun out when I gave them enough time to back away from Emmett.

I pulled up on the emergency brake and came to a screeching halt in front of the Castel. The wheels of the car was smoking and I stepped out of the car, "OH YEA! THE IMMORTAL PHOENIX LIVES ON! BOOM BADA BOOM!"

Emmett stepped out and said, "YOU CHEATED!"

"Suck it Emmett! You are a sore loser!" I gave him the loser sign and before he could approach me the others pulled up.

As Edward was about to come at me Alice got to me first screaming, "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN CULLEN I-"

The doors banged open and there stood Aro, Marcus, and Caius. She let go of me as Aro spoke, "Welcome my friends to Voltaire!"

Oh yea the fun has now officially started.


	5. Movie Marathon

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Nessie POV-**

Its official, we should call the men in white for mom. She has now been dubbed in my mind as chronically insane. Why, you all maybe wondering? Well let's review the facts shall we?

1 She is friends with the people that tried to have us killed

2 She nearly ran us off the road

3 She got mud on Aunt Ali's Porsche

4 Daddy is starting to mutter to himself

Yea that just about sums it up. The dude with the black hair, Aro I think his name is, lead us through the halls of the castle showing us around. Once the tour was over Aro lead Grandma and Grandpa away from the 'kids' to go talk somewhere else…

"So what did you want to do first?" Alec, I think his name is, said.

"Oh I know! Why don't we have a movie marathon for a bit? That should be fun right?" Jane asked.

"What kind of movie marathon?" Emmett asked suspiciously.

They all shrugged as we entered a big movie theatre like room, "Wow." I breathed; maybe these people weren't too bad after all.

Demetri walked over to a multitude of book shelves filled with videos and DVDs a like, "Pick anything you guys want." He offered.

I walked over and gasped. I knew what one we were going to watch first, "THIS ONE!"

Daddy took the tape from me, "Aladdin and the Return of Jefar?"

"Disney? Really?" Auntie Rose asked shocked.

"I wanna watch it!" Uncle Emmett cheered.

We each got into the chairs and I chose to snuggle against Jake, while Daddy and Mommy took their places to snuggle against each other. The rest followed suite in the comfy movie theatre like chairs. Alec put the tape in and it started to play.

**No POV-**

"Jake?" Nessie asked turning her head slightly to look at him from her comfy position snuggled against him.

The parents turned from their comfy position to look at them and so did the rest of the group.

"Yes Nessie?" Jake responded to look at her 'innocent' looking eyes.

"Why don't you get me a pretty flower like that? And Mommy…Daddy can I have a pet tiger?" Nessie asked just as innocently.

The eyes on the faces was so priceless that it tripled the normal Kodak moment making a cannon moment. Bella was first to speak, "You can't keep a goldfish alive for more than three days how do you expect to take care of a tiger?"

"Not only that but don't you guys live off of animals?" Jane asked laughing at the very thought of the Cullens having any type of pet in their house.

Nessie played with her thumbs and said, "I will take care of him. I promise. Besides fish are boring."

Alice leaned over and whispered to Jasper, "Remember the puppy?"

He gagged, "It went on vacation. Let's not bring that up. Emmett will be upset."

"Wait what about Lucky?" Emmett caught on to the conversation, "Is he back from vacation?"

Rose slapped her forehead and thought quick, "No Jasper just remembered that Lucky sent a postcard. He is having a wonderful time in…Pet Paradise." Emmett smiled contently

Edward laughed and Alec and Demetri sent him a look, "You don't want to know."

After several minutes of the movie they start to sing….surprise, surprise.

_**[JASMINE:] I can't forget about my heart  
[ALADDIN:] I can't forget about my heart**_

Bella stood up and started to sing the next line.

_**[JASMINE:] And how it felt  
To fall for you right from the start**_

Then she pulled Edward up and he gave her a twirl as he joined in as well.

_**[ALADDIN:] I'm still falling  
[JASMINE:] Whatever we may do  
[ALADDIN:] Whatever we may do**_

"Mom I didn't know that you knew this movie?" Nessie laughed feeling that this mini vacation was not going to be bad at all. In fact the rest of the Cullens started to feel the same way and joined in the cheering with Jane, Demetri, Alec, and Felix as well.

_**[JASMINE:] You are here for me,  
And I'll be there for you  
[ALADDIN:] I'll be there**_

When the song ended they clapped like people do in the theater and they resumed watching the movie.

"Hey Edward if an evil sorcerer was pretending to be me you would notice a difference right?" Bella asked curiously

Edward thought for a moment but he took a little too long.

"I KNEW IT! YOU NEVER TRULY LOVED ME!" Bella started to dry sob.

Edward got smacks at the back of the head by the guys, "Way to go Edward!" and the girls comforted Bella while shooting him dirty looks

"BUT WE NEVER HAD A YOUNG LOVE WE WERE DEFINATLY MORE MATURED IN OUR RELATIONSHIP!" Edward said in defense. They were mates after all when she was still human and they fell in love instantly. It was destined. Eternal Bliss instead of Young Bliss.

"Ooooh look at all the shinny things!" Emmett said as gold was dropped all around the main palace.

"You know I wish I could breathe fire." Bella said her out loud thought.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE ADHD?" Rose exasperated.

"We're watching a Disney movie and your worried about her having ADHD?" Alice asked her sister.

"Touché." Rose responded

"WHAT THE HELL THEY DIDN'T HAVE FIRE WORKS! THEY WERE CREATED BY THE CHINESSE THOUSANDS OF YEARS LATER!" Jasper said screaming as the end of the battle was at hand.

"Dude get a grip. Leave the Disney movie alone." Alec said annoyed.

"After years of being with me do you honestly think that he still has one?" Alice said suddenly

"I don't really remember Disney movies being violent." Jane said.

"Whatever want to finish the series?" Demetri asked holding out the other DVD.

"Yeah why not!" They all said

"GIVE THE GUARD A HEART ATTACK WHY DON'T YOU?" Felix shouted as the Genie appeared

"I hope that guard has health insurance." Bella said, "Why wasn't our wedding like that?"

"WHAT? YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO GO ALL OUT REMEMBER?" Alice yelled angrily

"Wait hold on a minute. What do you mean?" Edward asked as now everyone's attention was on Bella.

"Well all the commotion and singing." Bella said, "That would have been freaking awesome!"

"Uhm…hun this is a movie stop getting technical. Besides you didn't want a big wedding. You weren't even sure if you wanted to marry me because you didn't believe in marriage because you had parental issues in that department early in your life."

"WE'RE FINALLY GETTING MARRIED!" Jake and Nessie sung.

"Not on my watch anytime soon." Edward said and everyone laughed… "I'm serious" and they got quiet and there was an awkward silence

"I wanna be carried in a chair like he has…hey honey muffin?" Alice twirled her finger on Jasper' chest. He gave her a look that clearly said no.

"But muffin face…"

"No." And Alice pouted.

"GIRL POWER WAY TO GO JASMIN!" The girls shouted reaching over to high five each other.

The boys rolled their eyes and muttered, "Women."

"Did-did-did that staff just talk?" Jane stuttered.

"Yes it is talking." Alec said

"I don't remember this part." Emmett said when Aladdin said 'my father is alive?'

"That's because we normally didn't sit through movies without keeping our hands off….the popcorn." Rose said looking at Nessie.

"But you guys don't eat." Nessie said confused, "Unless you are lying about not eating."

Emmett jumped to the rescue, "We can eat but it taste nasty so we puke it up."

Nessie eyed him but let the comment slide. She did not want to know. Everyone sighed in relief. Edward and Bella looked at each other and wondered if Emmett was smarter than they sometimes gave him credit for.

Bella was watching the scene more closely and Edward sighed, "You want the staff don't you."

Bella thought and said, "Nah…I got you and Nessie, and everyone else. What more could I want?"

"The staff, for some reason a big fancy wedding, and your daughter wants a tiger…" Edward trailed off.

"Does this mean I can have the tiger?" Nessie asked happily.

"No!" Everyone said.

"Drat!" Nessie said snapping her fingers then said as Aladdin's father was saying something about a challenge, "Daddy would you do this to me?"

"No, but I wouldn't put it past your mother." Edward laughed.

"Well in order to become a real Freedom Fighter you have to face the challenge." Bella said.

The Volturi guard turned to the Cullens and asked, "What is a Freedom Fighter?"

"You don't want to know." They answered as Nessie responded with, "If it is anything like that challenge, I love you and all but you're going to have to have another daughter to success you for the Leadership position on that one."

"FINE THEN I WILL DISOWN YOU! AFTER 78 HOURS IN LABOR WITH YOU AND ALMOST DYING IN THE PROCCESS THIS IS WHAT I GET?" Bella said overly dramatic.

"THAT WAS LIKE A FEW YEARS AGO! I HAD NO CONTROL OVER THAT!" Nessie shouted back and forth as the groups sighed.

"You got to love Robin Williams." Jane said and she received looks, "What?"

"Since when do you like to watch movies?" Alec asked

Jane shrugged, "I always liked movies."

"But when we invite you to watch movies you say no." Felix stated.

"Because you watch stupid stuff." Jane said.

"True father son moment right there." Jake said proudly.

"But of course greed gets in the way!" Demetri said, "Greed can only lead to destruction."

"So true!" The rest cheered together

"Love the over dramaticness. Mom…Dad never do that to me and Jake." Nessie said.

"Oh no would never dream of doing that." Bella said with a glint in her eye.

"It will be ten times worse." Edward finished with a glint in his.

"Hasn't Aladdin learned that second chances don't necessarily work out?" Emmett asked.

"First grade pattern 101 here." Rose agreed

"Can we say S.O.L…"Alice started

"And J.W.F?" Jasper said, "That would be a yes!"

"And hun haven't you learned enough from your glorious sister that everything and everyone gets a second chance…." Bella trailed off…

"BECAUSE LOVE CONQURES ALL!" The Cullens said at the same time earning a look from the guard.

"So I guess you heard this before." Bella sighed.

"Yeah and it kind of gets old." They said and the guard shook the randomness off.

"Ok so what is with this movie first they hate each other now they love each other. WTF?" Jake said.

So the argument led to a classic line from Bon Jovi You Give Love a Bad Name 'Shot through the heart and your to blame you give love a bad name'!

"Ok randomness." Jane said.

"Ok so you guys wouldn't cause munity for me right?" Bella asked. Silence… "Guys?"

Jane leaned over to Rose and Alice, "Who died and made her Queen? What does she rule exactly?"

They looked at each other and said, "Who the hell knows?"

Jake leaned in to join the conversation, "She rules the cliffs. We played Ruler of the Cliffs and she won. Everyone knows that."

Deciding to play along with that question Nessie said, "Now mommy it depends." She placed a hand on Bella's arm.

"What?" Bella said in shock.

"Yea if you try and make us all go on that blood diet again, I guess I will beat King Tut as the youngest ruler of the Cliffs." Nessie laughed.

"The guy is fucking dead! He's been dead for like a million or couple centuries!" Bella shouted

It amused the group to see Bella having life back in her after the home movie marathon from hell. Even Nessie noticed that the glow in Bella's eyes was the same.

Nessie smiled and Bella asked, "What is it?"

"You…you…" Nessie can't even describe the feelings she has for her mother, "You just look so happy and you're actually having fun! I love you!" Nessie jumped on Bella's lap and hugged her.

"I love you too!"

"Disney movies bring out the true family unity." Jake said to no one in particular

"So true." Edward said

"Group Hug!" Called out Demetri. And they all hugged. Then the movie was now the focus.

"You know that boat and castle that they showed." Alice asked

"Let me guess you want both of them?" Jasper asked

"No I just hope they have Progressive insurance." She responded.

"Is he crying because of it's so shiny or he is just so happy to see everything?" Felix asked getting completely ignored.

"PRETTY, PRETTY! SHINY, SHINY!" They all said as the palace turned into pure gold.

"Uh isn't gold a heavy substance?" Nessie asked

"Yes honey it is." Edward said

"So wouldn't that mean that the whole palace would or is supposed to sink?" Nessie asked

Everyone in a, "…0.o"

They just kept watching the movie as the hugging scene and the King of Thieves through the hand.

"Does that answer your question?" Jane asked

"Yes it does but it was the turtle."

"Ok so they get married and it's fourth time is the charm!" Alec said

"Hey the parrot has a purpose now!" Demetri shouted

"Hey it's the dude from the first movie he lives!" Edward cheered

"Wooo! I love happy endings!" Bella cried out and they all cheered.


	6. 10 Things

**Fun Times in Italy**

**No POV-**

"Ok so who wants to pick next?" Jane asked.

"I will." Bella said getting up and so browsed through the movies, "OMG you have this one? I LOVED HEATH LEDGER!" She had picked 10 Things I Hate About You.

Taking the movie she placed it in the VCR and played it.

"OMG did that poster say 2000?" Bella yelled when the movie had opened.

"It's that old?" Edward asked amazed.

"AHHHHH! I FEEL WRINKLES!" Bella yelled out and clung on to Edward for dear life.

Jane and Alec looked at each other and Jane asked, "Ok one you are a vampire, two this movie is not that old, and three if you really are feeling wrinkles then shouldn't like half of us be bones or dust or something?"

Jake snorted, "Please…speak for yourself; I am still young and beautiful thank you very much."

The group stared at Bella but she was still pouting, "Mom chill!" Nessie yelled then asked, "Mommy what the hell did that say?"

Bella snapped out of it and said, "Not for your eyes honey."

"Is this appropriate to show Nessie?" Alice asked slowly.

"Rocky Horror was worse." Bella said indifferently, "Or if you prefer the langue is too much we could do Rocky Horror again…"

"NO!" They all shouted at her while the Volturi just eyed them weirdly.

"Ok Ok no need to shout." Bella said backing off the topic. Before Felix could ask Bella mouthed a, "Tell you later."

"The difference between love and like is. I like my sketchers, but I love my Prada bag." Nessie said imitating Bionca scarily well.

"Dude we need to get her away from Alice as soon as possible." Emmett said, "Otherwise she'll end up like that."

"Is she writing a sex novel?" Rose asked.

Bella started to crack up out of nowhere receiving looks from everyone, "What you can't think that stunt was cool."

"Ever clueless." Edward sighed.

"Be careful Eddie otherwise you'll be pulled into a stunt." Felix said.

Bella's eyes lit up, "I so know what we are doing next!"

The vampires and wolf in the room smacked their foreheads.

"Mommy what is drawing on his face?" Nessie asked

"That honey is the male reproductive organ that you shouldn't see until your wedding night." Bella said

"But I know you did things before your wedding night…I heard stuff about you." Nessie whispered the last part to her and if Bella's face could go red it would be redder than red and Edward's jaw dropped. The group just stared forgetting about the movie.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU HEAR THIS?"

"WHAT THE HELL? WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF EDWARD'S PURITY RING CRAP!"

"THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING!"

"WELL DUH FACTOR!"

Nessie smiled, "To answer your question Uncle Emmy and Jazz told me that stuff. They said that Daddy was a prude and needed a cherry popped or something."

No words could describe the looks that Edward and Bella where giving off. The anger was over flowing that you didn't need to be an empath to feel the intensity. Jake got up and ran back as Emmett and Jasper were cowering behind Alice and Rose. The guard just smiled enjoying the small intermission.

"Hook line sinker." Jake said laughing and taking pictures of the couple.

After the small little beat up session of his brothers he turned and growled, "Put the camera away or else." Jake gulped and he obeyed.

"Mommy did you do that to someone at one time?" Nessie asked changing subjects quickly.

"Yea but I got in trouble with Dad. He said that our insurance didn't cover PMS." Bella said then when the next scene showed, "Nessie this next part you won't ever be able to do."

"Do what?" Nessie and Jake asked at the same time.

"Go into a bar and investigate another of your aunts' and uncles' personal property." Bella sighed.

"What would you do if you caught me smoking or drinking?" Nessie

"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!" Edward yelled.

"Mommy can I go to a club with Jake like that?" Nessie asked pointing to the overly large TV

Everyone sighed and Rose said, "God she is worse than Bella when she is curious."

"I second that." Alice said

"I third it." Jasper in.

"I fourth it." Emmett responded.

"OVER OUR DEAD BODIES!" Bella and Edward shouted

"Ok ok." Nessie said defensively, "Just asking."

"Oh boy what are we turning our daughter into?" Edward whispered

"She get's it from your side." Bella pointed out.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Edward asked.

Bella pointed and Emmett and Rose were making out, "Exhibit A."

"Nice one Bells!" Jane cheered and they high fived.

"What did we miss?" Rose and Emmett asked.

"Daddy please doesn't ever do that to me…" Nessie begged, "You would never do that for me! Would you?" Nessie looked scared as Bella ran out of the room and came back a minute later with a base weighted belly.

"Put it on!" Bella demanded.

Everyone started to crack up as Nessie shouted, "NO!"

"Then no Jake time until you are forty." Bella said and in defeat Nessie put it on.

Jane paused the tape, "Did you guys want some blood alcohol or anything to drink?"

They nodded and Jane ran out and came back in, "Here Bells your 'Bloody Mary'." Bella started laughing.

Felix and Alec set up a table for everyone to put their glasses on and popcorn for Jake and Nessie, once everyone was settled Jane pressed play and resumed the movie.

Once Bella had a few cups she had forgotten what was going on she had taken off her over sweater and stepped up on the table and started to dance around on the table. She started to swing it around in a circle. Soon she pulled Edward up and now everyone was cheering and dancing.

Little did they know that Aro, Marcus, Caius, Esme, and Carlisle had come to the movie room because they heard cheering?

"WHEN THE HELL DID WE TURN THE MOVIE ROOM INTO A STRIPPER CLUB?" Caius shouted making everyone freeze in place.

"ummm….hi?" they waved and laughed nervously.

"Are you going to explain what you are doing?" Carlisle asked.

"We had a…brain…uhm…" Jasper looked nervous

"Hemorrhage in…uhm…" Jane tried to get out an excuse.

"Judgment." Edward finished.

"We see that…now just one more question." Aro said.

"Yes?" Was the genius reply.

"Can we join you guys?" He asked.

"Sure!" Bella said as she pop-locked and dropped it continuing to what she was doing.

They started to dance some more and when the dancing scene was done they all settled back down.

"Watch out Edward she'll be that girl and Jake that guy!" Demetri shouted, "She'll lose it early."

"In my dreams it's a little late." Nessie muttered but not quiet enough.

"WHAT WAS THAT YOUNG LADY?" Edward hollered

"Nothing sir I said isn't it getting late Jake and I were on a plane so we have been up all night." Nessie faked a stretch and Jake looked relieved that he did not have to get involved.

With a stratified look Edward turned his attention to the movie, "You know that scene when Bionica hits the arrow at the coach that's what I want to do to Jake a few times. Especially with his thoughts." Edward said

"Hard to get drama is so entertaining." Caius said and he got weird looks, "What? Cant a guy enjoy a movie."

"I love how you stole you're getting back together with Bella after a few of your arguments from this movie." Alice nudged Edward.

"Oh yea I almost forgot about that…oh crap she wasn't supposed to know that." Edward said

"You said you used your creative work of romance. YOU LIED TO ME?" Bella yelled

"Here we go again." Sighed the Cullens while the Volturi looked highly entertained.

"I was desperate. I love you baby." He kissed her cheek.

"Yea, yea you say that cause you know you're not getting any tonight!"

While Edward and Bella were going back and forth Demetri and Felix leaned over to Jake, "You have better be taking good notes kid on what not to do in a relationship."

"Bella why are you smiling?" Esme looked at the glistening in her eyes.

"She is going to quote her favorite part," Edward sighed.

"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.

I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." Bella laughed like there was no tomorrow and Edward kissed her wrist all the way up to her shoulder. Everyone sighed at the little sonnet and the girls glared at the boys, "WHY DO YOU NEVER DO STUFF LIKE THAT FOR US?"

Fast forward past the prom fiasco.

"I hate endings!" The girls yelled

"Oh boy!" The boys groaned

"Hey hey! I have a wonderful idea!" Bella said.

"Run. Save yourselves." Emmett whispered to the hosts.

"Why?..." Aro asked.

"Trust me. You will want to run." Emmett said

"Have any of you seen Scream?" Bella asked smiling evilly.

"Yes who hasn't?" Demetri asked.

"We haven't." The Cullens, Aro, Marcus, Caius, and Nessie raised their hands.

Jake looked at them then back at Bella and he realized what she was planning, "No. Bella come on we tortured them enough with Rocky Horror. We aren't that cruel."

"What you guys did it too me." Bella said getting the movie off the shelf, "Besides it'll be fun."

"Bella?" Edward questioned.

"Yes?" She asked

"What is going on?"

She smiled, "First I have a question for you. What's your favorite scary movie?"

Then there as if that was a que…it cracked thunder and lightning flashed outside.


	7. Karaoke Chaos

**Fun Times in Italy **

"Can we not watch the movie…please mommy." Nessie begged before Bella could put the DVD in the player.

"Why don't you want to watch the movie?" Jane asked.

Nessie sighed, "I don't like scary movies. Besides," she smiled, "I want to hear mommy sing some more!"

Now everyone's eyes were on Bella as she started to stutter, "I…don't think…"

"Come on mommy you promised that you would sing some more," Nessie's smiled widened, "Please…"

Bella melted when she saw Nessie puppy pout, "Fine."

"Yay!" Nessie cheered.

Alice then got an evil glint in her eyes and said, "Why don't we make this more interesting? Karaoke. Guys against girls."

"You are on!" Felix shouted followed by cheers from the guys.

"You are going down!" Jane cheered high fiving Rose and Alice.

"Wait!" Bella shouted then it got quite, "I just have one request. My books are off limits."

"What? NO!" Jasper yelled taking it the outrage and disappointment.

"Come on love please?" Edward begged.

Before Bella could respond Emmett spoke up, "Hold on. I got it. Girls choose the song that the boys sing and vice versa; but any song that is in Bella's song book she gets to sing but we choose and you have to tells us where you got the inspiration for the song. Deal?"

Bella thought about it and then she saw everyone giving her a puppy pout. Cursing in her thoughts she relented when she saw Nessie and Edward pouting, "Fine."

"Yes!" They cheered.

Aro, Caius, Marcus, Esme, and Carlisle sighed. They did not want any part of this so Esme spoke up, "How about we be judges and decide who the winner is?"

The kids thought for a moment and said, "Ok why not."

"Who goes first?" Demetri asked.

"Anyone got a coin?" Rose asked.

Edward dug in his pockets and pulled one out and handed it to Carlisle, "Ok tails boys go first heads girls go first."

They flipped the coin and it landed on tails, "Alright we go first!" Emmett cheered, "Now Bella where are those books?"

Bella sighed and ran to go get her guitar and the song books. When she came back she handed the books to Edward, "Here and please do not let Emmett get a hold of them."

Edward nodded and kissed her forehead, "You can trust me. We will go easy ok?"

"Singing is really not that I am worried about. Explaining is." Bella said so only Edward can hear.

"How bad can it be love?" Edward asked smiling but his smile faded when Bella gave him a look that said 'you have to ask?'

Walking back to her team she waited as the boys paged through one of the books. After a few minutes they chose a song, "This one!" Emmett pointed to the page and Bella groaned, "Really?"

He nodded with enthusiasm, "Fine."

"Remember you have to tell us what it is about." Jasper reminded her.

Sighing Bella spoke, "Well this was about when I first realized that I was in love with Edward…it was after our first date. This was his first song that I wrote about."

"There are more songs about him?" Emmett whispered excitedly.

Edward smiled and she smiled back as she started to strum the notes:

**Bella POV-**

As I started to strum the chord my mind went back to the memories that caused me to write this. It takes place after we had dinner in the restaurant, the time in the meadow, and when I first met his family. Those days it really was a fairytale.

_**Today was a fairytale  
You were the prince  
I used to be a damsel in distress  
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six  
Today was a fairytale**_

_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Today was a fairytale**_  
_**I wore a dress**_  
_**You wore a dark grey t-shirt**_  
_**You told me I was pretty**_  
_**When I looked like a mess**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Time slows down**_  
_**Whenever you're around**_

_**Can you feel this magic in the air?**_  
_**It must have been the way you kissed me**_  
_**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**_  
_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

Everyone was smiling softly but I was not paying attention at all. I was lost in the music and the memories. He had once said that the memories fade overtime, but I know that it is not entirely true. I will always remember the good times and the bad, but mostly I will always remember how I felt about him.

_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Today was a fairytale**_  
_**You've got a smile that takes me to another planet**_  
_**Every move you make everything you say is right**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Today was a fairytale**_  
_**All that I can say**_  
_**Is now it's getting so much clearer**_  
_**Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Time slows down**_  
_**Whenever you're around**_

_**But can you feel this magic in the air?**_  
_**It must have been the way you kissed me**_  
_**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**_  
_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_  
_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

**Edward POV-**

Wow…she wrote this for me? This was incredible, like really incredible. I was so consumed in the music I hardly noticed that she let her shield down and I am seeing and hearing everything in her thoughts as she is singing. I guess I never fully realized back then before I left how much love she really had for me.

Nessie was sitting next to me as Bella was on the stage and she put her hand to my cheek and was telling me how her mother sang beautifully. I looked down as she was smiling and I nodded not wanting to break the magic that consumed the room by speaking.

_**Time slows down**_  
_**Whenever you're around**_  
_**I can feel my heart**_  
_**It's beating in my chest**_  
_**Did you feel it?**_  
_**I can't put this down**_

_**But can you feel this magic in the air?**_  
_**It must have been the way you kissed me**_  
_**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**_  
_**It must have been the way**_

_**But can you feel this magic in the air?**_  
_**It must have been the way you kissed me**_  
_**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**_  
_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_  
_**It must have been the way**_  
_**Today was a fairytale**_

_**Today was a fairytale**_

Everyone was clapping as the notes slowed to a stop and Bella took a bow. Coming down off the stage the girls gathered around and started whispering names of songs and artists. I couldn't hear their thoughts because of Bella's shield so we sat back waiting.

"What do you think they will do?" Demetri asked.

"Not a clue. Bella has her shield up." I answered.

"Yes! That is perfect. Bella would you like to do the honors?" Jane asked smiling.

"Why don't mind if I do." She said.

The girls stood behind her and we stood up, "Edward because you always say that I drive you crazy. That is what you have to sing…in fact all the boys have to sing it."

"WHAT?" We yelled.

"Yup. You have to sing and dress up to Britney Spears's song You Drive Me Crazy." Bella said smirking.

The 'parents' backslash judges were laughing as we stood there mortified. This so calls for revenge.

"Dude your wife is evil." Felix said.

"You have no idea." I said back as the girls smiled innocently.

**A/N: So the song was Taylor Swift's Today was a Fairytale. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter.**


	8. You Drive Me Crazy

**Fun Times in Italy**

"Edward because you always say that I drive you crazy. That is what you have to sing…in fact all the boys have to sing it."

"WHAT?!" We yelled.

"Yup. You have to sing and dress up to the song Britney Spears's You Drive Me Crazy." Bella said smirking.

The 'parents' backslash judges were laughing as we stood there mortified…this so calls for revenge.

"Dude your wife is evil." Felix said.

"You have no idea." I said back as the girls smiled innocently.

Alice, Rose, and Jane led us to a walk in closet and quickly forced us to change into this tight ass pants and these ridiculous tank tops. Throughout this whole ordeal the guys were shooting me death glares and on top of that they were thinking how to extract revenge.

When we came back out Nessie looked mortified, Jacob was laughing, Bella was taking pictures, and the parents were laughing like crazy. We got up on the stage and as soon as the music started Emmett stepped forward and started to sing…rather badly I may add:

**Baby, I'm so into you  
You got that somethin, what can I do  
Baby, you spin me around  
The Earth is movin, but I can't feel the ground**

Felix stepped forward now and took over. _Hopefully Felix sings better than Emmett_, Carlisle thought and I sent a glare his way as now Felix sang…I was surprised Jacob was not hollowing like the dog he is:

**Every time you look at me  
My heart is jumpin, it's easy to see**

**You drive me crazy  
I just cant sleep  
Im so excited, I'm in too deep  
Ohh...crazy, but it feels alright  
Baby, thinkin of you keeps me up all night **

Felix is just as bad if not worse than Emmett. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bella with a video camera and she is trying to shake it as she is holding back laughs…oh she is sooo in for it. Now sadly it was my turn…

**Tell Me, you're so into me  
That i'm the only one you will see  
Tell me, i'm not in the blue  
That i'm not wastin, my feelings on you**

**You drive me crazy**  
**I just cant sleep**  
**Im so excited, I'm in too deep**  
**Ohh...crazy, but it feels alright**  
**Baby, thinkin of you keeps me up all night**

Now everyone was laughing although with the dancing and everything Nessie still looks mortified, Jacob is literally rolling on the floor, Alice is leaning on Rose who are both laughing, and the 'judges' are trying not to break the 'professionalism' that they should possess…but the thoughts of them: _make them end this song soon please!_ Jeeze are we really that bad? Now it is Alec and Jasper's turn and they sing a really high glass shattering soprano that would make even the toughest of glasses break…in fact I think I just heard glass shatter in the distance:

**Crazy, I just can't sleep**  
**I'm so excited, I'm in too deep**  
**Crazy, But it feels alright**  
**Every Day and Every Night**

Now we reached the end where we belt the last part altogether and then we were very off key…

**You drive me crazy**  
**I just cant sleep**  
**Im so excited, I'm in too deep**  
**Ohh...crazy, but it feels alright**  
**Baby, thinkin of you keeps me up all night**

**You Drive Me Crazy (You drive me crazy baby)**  
**Ohh..Crazy, But It Feels Alright**  
**Baby Thinkin of you keeps me up all night**  
**Baby Thinkin of you keeps me up all night**

"Ok how about we do this…lets end this now before we have another one of our thousand year old stain glasses shatter…shall we?" Aro said in what would be a diplomatic tone.

"Oh come on we were not that bad…" Emmett said arms crossed as we heard a rip in the shirt, "Oops."

Bella smirked and went over to him and whispered something in his ear that I didn't catch, but Emmett shouted, "YOU WHAT?!"

"Wait what just happened?" Jasper asked turning to them.

"She posted the performance on youtube!" Emmett said outraged.

"NO!" We yelled.

"Yup over a hundred hits and it is only the first five minutes." Bella said laughing earning high-fives from the girls.

_Oh I know how to get revenge_, Emmett thought to me. I looked at him and he pulled the guys over and said, "Ok I got a plan. First of all do you guys do any racing with cars?"

Felix and Alec looked at each other then at Demetri and they nodded, "Yea we have our own track and everything why?"

Emmett smiled and turned back to the girls, "Ok how about we hold off on the Karaoke and have a race."

"What kind of race?" Rose asked.

"With the cars."

"I kicked your butt on the way over here why do you want more humiliation?" Bella asked.

"Because I wasn't ready at that time, besides they have their own track…so what do you say?"

Bella and the girls looked at each other and Bella said, "You are on although I think you just made a grave error in challenging me."

"Really now? Why do you say that?" I asked in the same bored tone.

She came up to me and whispered in a passive seductive voice, "There is a reason why the name 'Immortal Phoenix' was so widely known in the racing underground in Arizona."

"Racing underground?" I gulped now everyone looked intrigued.

"Another video series for another time love." Bella said casually.

When the parents and the girls left the room Jacob, Nessie, Jasper, Felix, Alec, Demetri, and I were glaring at Emmett, "What?"

"If we lose this is your fault." Alec said.

"How is it going to be my fault?" He asked.

Jasper just shook his head and turned to me, "Your wife certainly led a double life didn't she?"

"I have not a clue." I answered hoping that Bella was bluffing, or otherwise…anyone got the number for the 'men in white' because I think I am about to go insane.


End file.
